Tag: resentment

on
Posted on

Dianne’s Missives July 10, 2026

Thought to Consider…

Faith is not belief without proof; it’s trust without reservation.
There is no such thing as being ‘a little bit alcoholic.’

Nothing pays off like restraint of tongue and pen. 12×12 pg 91

AACRONYMS

S P O N S O R = Sober Person Offering Newcomers Suggestions On Recovery
D E N I A L = Don’t Even Notice I Am Lying
F E A R = False Evidence Appearing Real

Resentment

“It is plain that a life which includes deep resentment leads only to futility and unhappiness. To the precise extent that we permit these, do we squander the hours that might have been worthwhile. But with the alcoholic, whose hope is the maintenance and growth of a spiritual experience, this business of resentment is infinitely grave. We found that it is fatal. For when harboring such feelings we shut ourselves off from the sunlight of the Spirit. The insanity of alcohol returns and we drink again. And with us, to drink is to die.”
Until we came into A.A. most of us had tried desperately to stop drinking. We were filled with the delusion that we could drink like our friends. We tried time and again to take it or leave it, but we could do neither. We always lapsed into ceaseless, unhappy drinking. Families, friends, and employers threw up their hands in hurt bewilderment, in despair, and finally in disgust. We wanted to stop. We realized that every reason for drinking was only a crazy excuse.

To Survive Trials

“In our belief, any scheme of combating alcoholism which proposes wholly to shield the sick man from temptation is doomed to failure. If the alcoholic tries to shield himself he may succeed for a time, but he usually winds up with a bigger explosion than ever. We have tried these methods. These attempts to do the impossible have always failed. Release from alcohol, and not flight from it, is our answer.” 

“‘Faith without works is dead.’ How appallingly true for the alcoholic! For if an alcoholic fails to perfect and enlarge his spiritual life through work and self-sacrifice for others, he cannot survive the certain trials and low spots ahead. If he does not work, he will surely drink again, and if he drinks, he will surely die. Then faith will be dead indeed.”

“Remember that we deal with alcohol, cunning, baffling, powerful! Without help it is too much for us. But there is One who has all power that One is God. May you find Him now!”

“Because I’m an Alcoholic”

“That sense of being different, which had long plagued me, disappeared when I saw the threads that run through all of us. Sharing our stories, our feelings, it is the areas where we are the same that impress me. The differences are but delightful flourishes on the surface, like different-colored costumes, and I enjoy them. But the basic ways we are human, the basic ways we simply are, stand out to me now. I came to see that we all are really one, and I no longer feel alone.”

A NATURAL FAITH

. . . deep down in every man, woman and child, is the fundamental idea of God. It may be obscured by calamity, by pomp, by worship of other things, but in some form or other it is there. For faith in a Power greater than ourselves, and miraculous demonstrations of that power in human lives, are facts as old as man himself.

Simplicity

“A willingness to do whatever I was told to do simplified the program for me. Study the A.A. book – don’t just read it. They told me to go to meetings, and I still do at every available opportunity, whether I am at home or in some other city. Attending meetings has never been a chore for me. Nor have I attended them with a feeling of just doing my duty. Meetings are both relaxing and refreshing to me after a hard day. They said ‘Get active’ so I helped whenever I could and still do.”
Dianne
on
Posted on

Dianne’s Missives June 19, 2026

Thought to Consider…

Don’t quit before the miracle happens!
Anger is the hot wind that extinguishes the light of reason.
Sobriety is a journey, not a destination

If you have the courage to begin, you have the courage to succeed.

AACRONYMS

Y E T = You’re Eligible Too
S T E P S = Solutions To Every Problem in Sobriety

Resentment

“Resentment is the ‘number one’ offender. It destroys more alcoholics than anything else. From it stem all forms of spiritual disease, for we have been not only mentally and physically ill, we have been spiritually sick. When the spiritual malady is overcome, we straighten out mentally and physically.”
“I can’t afford resentments against anyone, because they are the build-up of another drunk. I must live and let live.”
“Though there is no way of proving it, we believe that early in our drinking careers most of us could have stopped drinking. But the difficulty is that few alcoholics have enough desire to stop while there is yet time.”

A FELLOWSHIP OF FREEDOM

When I no longer live under the dictates of another or of alcohol, I live in a new freedom. When I release the past and all the excess baggage I have carried for so very long, I come to know freedom. I have been introduced into a life and a fellowship of freedom. The Steps are a “recommended” way of finding a new life, there are no commands or dictates in A.A. I am free to serve from desire rather than decree. There is the understanding that I will benefit from the growth of other members, and I take what I learn and bring it back to the group. The “common welfare” finds room to grow in the society of personal freedom.

Doubt

“Its main object is to enable you to find a Power greater than yourself which will solve your problem. That means we have written a book which we believe to be spiritual as well as moral. And it means, of course, that we are going to talk about God. Here difficulty arises with agnostics. Many times we talk to a new man and watch his hope rise as we discuss his alcoholic problems and explain our fellowship. But his face falls when we speak of spiritual matters, especially when we mention God, for we have re-opened a subject which our man thought he had neatly evaded or entirely ignored. We know how he feels. We have shared his honest doubt and prejudice.”
When we came into A.A., we made a tremendous discovery. We found that we were sick persons rather than moral lepers. We were not such odd ducks as we thought we were. We found other people who had the same illness that we had, who had been through the same experiences that we had been through. They had recovered. If they could do it, we could do it.

Change

“How many of us would presume to declare, ‘Well, I’m sober and I’m happy. What more can I want, or do? I’m fine the way I am.’ We know that the price of such self-satisfaction is an inevitable backslide, punctuated at some point by a very rude awakening. We have to grow or else deteriorate. For us, the status quo can only be for today, never for tomorrow. Change we must; we cannot stand still.”
We in A.A. have the privilege of living two lives in one lifetime. One life of drunkenness, failure, and defeat. Then, through A.A., another life of sobriety, peace of mind, and usefulness. We who have recovered our sobriety are modern miracles. And were living on borrowed time. Some of us might have been dead long ago. But we have been given another chance to live.
Dianne
on
Posted on

Dianne’s Missives May 15, 2026

 

Thought to Consider

A.A. is not something you join, it’s a way of life.

The Road to Recovery

The road to recovery is always under construction.

Premature Funerals

“I have been to too many premature funerals due to our good friend alcohol.”

Spiritual and Physical Health

“When the spiritual malady is overcome, we straighten out mentally and physically.”

Control

“Most of us have been unwilling to admit we were real alcoholics. No person likes to think he is bodily and mentally different from his fellows. Therefore, it is not surprising that our drinking careers have been characterized by countless vain attempts to prove we could drink like other people. The idea that somehow, someday he will Control and Enjoy his drinking is the great obsession of every abnormal drinker. The persistence of this illusion is astonishing. Many pursue it into the gates of insanity or death.”

Sunlight

“It is plain that a life which includes deep resentment leads only to futility and unhappiness. To the precise extent that we permit these, do we squander the hours that might have been worthwhile. This business of resentment is infinitely grave. We found that it is fatal. For when harboring such feelings we shut ourselves off from the sunlight of the Spirit. The insanity of alcohol returns and we drink again. And with us, to drink is to die.”

To Handle Sobriety

“The more I drank, the more I fantasized everything . . . I lived in a dream world. A.A. led me gently from this fantasizing to embrace reality with open arms. And I found it beautiful! For, at last, I was at peace with myself. And with others. And with God.”

Our Survival

“The HONESTY expressed by the members of A.A. in meetings has the power to open my mind. Nothing can block the flow of energy that HONESTY carries with it. The only obstacle to this flow of energy is inebriation, but even then, no one will find a closed door if he or she has left and chooses to return. Once he or she has received the gift of sobriety, each A.A. member is challenged on a daily basis to accept a program of HONESTY.”

Ego Deflation

All of A.A.’s Twelve Steps ask us to go contrary to our natural desires . . . they all deflate our egos. When it comes to ego deflation, few Steps are harder to take than Five. But scarcely any Step is more necessary to longtime sobriety and peace of mind than this one.

Big Book Quote

“We found that as soon as we were able to lay aside prejudice and express even a willingness to believe in a Power greater than ourselves, we commenced to get results, even though it was impossible for any of us to fully define or comprehend that Power, which is God.”

Prayer

“In A.A. we have found that the actual good results of prayer are beyond question. They are matters of knowledge and experience. All those who have persisted have found strength not ordinarily their own. They have found wisdom beyond their usual capability. And they have increasingly found a peace of mind which can stand in the face of difficult circumstances.”

The Way of Strength

“We need not apologize to anyone for depending upon the Creator. We have good reason to disbelieve those who think spirituality is the way of weakness. For us, it is the way of strength. The verdict of the ages is that men of faith seldom lack courage. They trust their God. So we never apologize for our belief in Him. Instead, we try to let Him demonstrate, through us, what He can do.”

Dianne

on
Posted on

Dianne’s Missives March 6, 2026

Thought to Consider…

Resentment is like taking poison and waiting for the other person to die.
Sobriety is a journey, not a destination.
Prayer is asking a question. Meditation is listening for the answer.
The ankle-biters of everyday struggles will eat away at me unless I go to meetings and call my sponsor.
The Twelve Steps are but suggestions, as is pulling the rip cord on a parachute.

AACRONYMS

A S A P = Always Say A Prayer

Few indeed are the practicing alcoholics who have any idea how irrational they are, or seeing their irrationality, can bear to face it. Some will be willing to term themselves ‘problem drinkers,’ but cannot endure the suggestion that they are in fact mentally ill. They are abetted in this blindness by a world which does not understand the difference between sane drinking and alcoholism. ‘Sanity’ is defined as ‘soundness of mind.’ Yet no alcoholic, soberly analyzing his destructive behavior, whether the destruction fell on the dining-room furniture or his own moral fiber, can claim ‘soundness of mind’ for himself.

Resentment

Resentment is the “number one” offender. It destroys more alcoholics than anything else. From it stem all forms of spiritual disease, for we have been not only mentally and physically ill, we have been spiritually sick. When the spiritual malady is overcome, we straighten out mentally and physically.
When we harbored grudges and planned revenge for defeats, we were really beating ourselves with the club of anger we had intended to use on others. We learned that if we were seriously disturbed, our very first need was to quiet that disturbance, regardless of who or what we thought caused it.”

Neighbors

Near you, alcoholics are dying helplessly like people in a sinking ship. If you live in a large place, there are hundreds. High and low, rich and poor, these are future fellows of Alcoholics Anonymous. Among them you will make lifelong friends. You will be bound to them with new and wonderful ties, for you will escape disaster together and you will commence shoulder to shoulder your common journey. Then you will know what it means to give of yourself that others may survive and rediscover life. You will learn the full meaning of “Love Thy neighbor as thyself.”

Hope

He had lain awake all night. Down in the pit of his depression, new hope had suddenly been born. The thought flashed through his mind, “If they can do it, I can do it!” Over and over he said this to himself. Finally, out of his hope, there burst conviction. Now he was sure. Then came a great joy. At length peace stole over him, and he slept.

MYSTERIOUS PARADOXES

Such is the paradox of A.A. regeneration: strength arising out of complete defeat and weakness, the loss of one’s old life as a condition for finding a new one.
What glorious mysteries paradoxes are! They do not compute, yet when recognized and accepted, they reaffirm something in the universe beyond human logic. When I face a fear, I am given courage; when I support a brother or sister, my capacity to love myself is increased; when I accept pain as part of the growing experience of life, I realize a greater happiness; when I look at my dark side, I am brought into new light; when I accept my vulnerabilities and surrender to a Higher Power, I am graced with unforeseen strength. I stumbled through the doors of A.A. in disgrace, expecting nothing from life, and I have been given hope and dignity. Miraculously, the only way to keep the gifts of the program is to pass them on.

“Loners” – but Not Alone

“What can be said of many A.A. members who, for a variety of reasons, cannot have a family life? At first many of these feel lonely, hurt, and left out as they witness so much domestic happiness about them. If they cannot have this kind of happiness, can A.A. offer them satisfactions of similar worth and durability?
Yes – whenever they try hard to seek out these satisfactions. Surrounded by so many A.A. friends, the so-called loners tell us they no longer feel alone. In partnership with others -women and men – they can devote themselves to any number of ideas, people, and constructive projects. They can participate in enterprises which would be denied to family men and women. We daily see such members render prodigies of service, and receive great joys in return.”

Hope

Hope is the key that unlocks the door of discouragement. The program promises me that if I do not pick up the first drink today, I will always have hope. Having come to believe that I keep what I share, every time I encourage, I receive courage. It is with others that, with the grace of God and the Fellowship of A.A., I trudge the road of happy destiny. May I always remember that the power within me is far greater than any fear before me. May I always have patience, for I am on the right road.

Dianne

on
Posted on

Dianne’s Missives January 9, 2026

Thought to Consider…

It works – it really does!
Sorrow looks back, worry looks around and faith looks within.
Anger is the hot wind that extinguishes the light of reason.

AACRONYMS

F A I T H = Finding Answers In The Heart
C A L M = Can Anger Leave Me?

Step One: We admitted we were powerless over alcohol- that our lives had become unmanageable.

Seed

“It was then discovered that when one alcoholic had planted in the mind of another the true nature of his malady, that person could never be the same again. Following every spree, he would say to himself, ‘Maybe those A.A.’s were right . . .’ After a few such experiences, often years before the onset of extreme difficulties, he would return to us convinced. He had hit bottom as truly as any of us. Alcohol itself had become our best advocate.

We thought “conditions” drove us to drink, and when we tried to correct these conditions and found that we couldn’t do so to our entire satisfaction, our drinking went out of hand and we became alcoholics. It never occurred to us that we needed to change ourselves to meet conditions, whatever they were.

Resentments

Few people have been more victimized by resentments than have we alcoholics. It mattered little whether our resentments were justified or not. A burst of temper could spoil a day, and a well – nursed grudge could make us miserably ineffective. Nor were we ever skillful in separating justified from unjustified anger. As we saw it, our wrath was always justified. Anger, that occasional luxury of more balanced people, could keep us on an emotional jag indefinitely. These emotional “dry benders” often led straight to the bottle. Other kinds of disturbance – jealousy, envy, self-pity, or hurt pride – did the same thing.

“The explanation that alcoholism was a disease of a two-fold nature, an allergy of the body and an obsession of the mind, cleared up a number of puzzling questions for me. The allergy we could do nothing about. Somehow our bodies had reached the point where we could no longer absorb alcohol in our systems. The why is not important; the fact is that one drink will set up a reaction in our system that requires more, that one drink is too much and a hundred drinks are not enough.”

TOTAL ACCEPTANCE

He cannot picture life without alcohol. Some day he will be unable to imagine life either with alcohol or without it. Then he will know loneliness such as few do. He will be at the jumping-off place. He will wish for the end.
Only an alcoholic can understand the exact meaning of a statement like this one. The double standard that held me captive as an active alcoholic also filled me with terror and confusion: “If I don’t get a drink I’m going to die,” competed with “If I continue drinking it’s going to kill me.” Both compulsive thoughts pushed me ever closer to the bottom. That bottom produced a total acceptance of my alcoholism – with no reservations whatsoever – and one that was absolutely essential for my recovery. It was a dilemma unlike anything I had ever faced, but as I found out later on, a necessary one if I was to succeed in this program.

Guidance

Walk day by day in the path of spiritual progress. If you persist, remarkable things will happen. When we look back, we realize the things which came to us when we put ourselves in God’s hands, were better than anything we could have planned. Follow the dictates of a Higher Power and you will presently live in a new and wonderful world, no matter what your present circumstances!

Faith

When I was driven to my knees by alcohol, I was made ready to ask for the gift of faith. And all was changed. Never again, my pains and problems notwithstanding, would I experience my former desolation. I saw the universe to be lighted by God’s love; I was alone no more.

Dianne

on
Posted on

Episode 0050 Team Cheremy: The Alcoholic Family

This episode Team Cheremy opens the new year with a raw, deeply personal conversation about the family disease of alcoholism, focusing on how addiction and recovery ripple across generations. They explore lived experience rather than theory, as Linda and her niece Lauren both sober members of Alcoholics Anonymous share candid stories of growing up around alcoholism, navigating abandonment, secrecy, relapse, and ultimately finding recovery, boundaries, and spiritual grounding. Through honest dialogue, reflections, and practical insight, the episode examines detachment with love, family roles, myths around “rock bottom,” and how trust in recovery communities can heal fractured relationships. The result is an educational, unscripted discussion offering hope, clarity, and tools for families and individuals walking the long road of recovery together.

Text Us at 501-613-8915

Leave a voicemail 501-613-8915

Email us team@shoutoutfromthepit.com

 

Subscribe Apple Podcasts | Spotify | Android | Email | RSS | Subscribe to the Podcast Feed

on
Posted on

Dianne’s Missives July 19

Thought to Consider…

We are prisoners of our own resentments. Forgiveness unlocks the door and sets us free.
Anger is the hot wind that extinguishes the light of reason
In order to recover we have to uncover.
Faith is not belief without proof; it’s trust without reservation.

Life didn’t end when I got sober . . . it started.

AACRONYMS

F A I T H = Facing All In Trusting Him

S L I P = Sobriety Loses Its Priority

If a mere code of morals or a better philosophy of life were sufficient to overcome alcoholism, many of us – would have recovered long ago. But we found that such codes and philosophies did not save us, no matter how much we tried. We could wish to be moral, we could wish to be philosophically comforted, in fact, we could will these things with all our might, but the needed power wasn’t there. Our human resources, as marshalled by the will, were not sufficient; they failed utterly. Lack of power, that was our dilemma. We had to find a power by which we could live, and it had to be a Power greater than ourselves.
“We are people who normally would not mix. But there exists among us a fellowship, a friendliness, and an understanding which is indescribably wonderful.”
Remember that we deal with alcohol, cunning, baffling, powerful! Without help it is too much for us. But there is One who has all power that One is God. May you find Him now!”
A great turning point in our lives came when we sought for humility as something we really wanted, rather than as something we must have. “Never talk down to an alcoholic from any moral or spiritual hilltop; simply lay out the kit of spiritual tools for his inspection. Show him how they worked with you. Offer him friendship and fellowship.”

Resentment

“It is plain that a life which includes deep resentment leads only to futility and unhappiness. To the precise extent that we permit these, do we squander the hours that might have been worthwhile. But with the alcoholic, whose hope is the maintenance and growth of a spiritual experience, this business of resentment is infinitely grave. We found that it is fatal. For when harboring such feelings we shut ourselves off from the sunlight of the Spirit. The insanity of alcohol returns, and we drink again. And with us, to drink is to die.”
“If we were to live, we had to be free of anger. The grouch and the brainstorm were not for us. They may be the dubious luxury of normal men, but for alcoholics these things are poison “

The Beginning of Humility

“There are few absolutes inherent in the Twelve Steps. Most Steps are open to interpretation, based on the experience and outlook of the individual. Consequently, the individual is free to start the steps at whatever point he can or will. God, as we understand Him, may be defined as a Power greater or the Higher Power. For thousands of members, the A.A. group itself has been a Higher Power in the beginning. This acknowledgment is easy to make if a newcomer knows that most of the members are sober and he isn’t. His admission is the beginning of humility at least the newcomer is willing to disclaim that he himself is God. That’s all the start he needs. If, following this achievement, he will relax and practice as many of the Steps as he can, he is sure to grow spiritually.”
We represent no particular faith or denomination. We are dealing only with general principles common to most denominations.”
Today is ours. Let us live today as we believe God wants us to live. Each day will have a new pattern which we cannot foresee. But we can open each day with a quiet period in which we say a little prayer, asking God to help us through the day. Personal contact with God, as we understand Him, will from day to day bring us nearer to an understanding of His will for us. At the close of the day, we offer Him thanks for another day of sobriety. A full, constructive day has been lived, and we are grateful.
Dianne
on
Posted on

Dianne’s Missives Jun 20

Thought to Consider . . .

There are only two things an alcoholic doesn’t like – the way things are, and change.
The depth of our anxiety measures the distance we are from God.
If you have the courage to begin, you have the courage to succeed.

*~*AACRONYMS*~*

C H A N G E = Choosing Honesty Allows New Growth Every day

Resentment

“Resentment is the ‘number one’ offender. It destroys more alcoholics than anything else. From it stem all forms of spiritual disease, for we have been not only mentally and physically ill, we have been spiritually sick. When the spiritual malady is overcome, we straighten out mentally and physically.”
When we came into A.A., we made a tremendous discovery. We found that we were sick persons rather than moral lepers. We were not such odd ducks as we thought we were. We found other people who had the same illness that we had, who had been through the same experiences that we had been through. They had recovered. If they could do it, we could do it.
“Faith without works was dead, he said. And how appallingly true for the alcoholic! For if an alcoholic failed to perfect and enlarge his spiritual life through work and self-sacrifice for others, he could not survive the certain trials and low spots ahead. If he did not work, he would surely drink again, and if he drank, he would surely die. Then faith would be dead indeed. With us it is just like that.”
In A.A. we have to reeducate our minds. We have to learn to think differently. We have to take a long view of drinking instead of a short view. We have to look through the glass to what lies beyond it. We have to look through the night before to the morning after. No matter how good liquor looks from the short view, we must realize that in the long run it is poison to us.
“Most of us have been unwilling to admit we were real alcoholics. No person likes to think he is bodily and mentally different from his fellows. Therefore, it is not surprising that our drinking careers have been characterized by countless vain attempts to prove we could drink like other people. The idea that somehow, someday he will control and enjoy his drinking is the great obsession of every abnormal drinker. The persistence of this illusion is astonishing. Many pursue it into the gates of insanity or death.”

Neighbors

“Near you, alcoholics are dying helplessly like people on a sinking ship. If you live in a large place, there are hundreds. High and low, rich and poor, these are future fellows of Alcoholics Anonymous. Among them you will make lifelong friends. You will be bound to them with new and wonderful ties, for you will escape disaster together and you will commence shoulder to shoulder your common journey. Then you will know what it means to give of yourself that others may survive and rediscover life. You will learn the full meaning of ‘Love they neighbor as thyself.'”
We in A.A. have the privilege of living two lives in one lifetime. One life of drunkenness, failure, and defeat. Then, through A.A., another life of sobriety, peace of mind, and usefulness. We who have recovered our sobriety are modern miracles. And were living on borrowed time. Some of us might have been dead long ago. But we have been given another chance to live.
Dianne
Top