Joel’s story is a blunt reminder that rock bottom doesn’t always involve handcuffs or headlines. In this episode, Joel opens up about childhood trauma, addiction, ego, control, relapse, and the moment his internal voice shifted from self hatred to hope. He shares how detox, honesty, service work, music, and community, especially Bridging the Gap, became the foundation of his recovery. This episode explores shame, guilt, faith without dogma, the danger of isolation, and why “the only thing waiting in the comfort zone is alcoholism.” If you’re new to recovery, stuck in the middle, or questioning whether change is possible, Joel’s experience offers a grounded, lived example of how growth happens one honest step at a time.

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Thought to Consider….

Trying to pray is praying

The solution is simple. The solution is spiritual.

The joy is in the journey.

Situations I fear are rarely as bad as the fear itself.

AACRONYMS

T H I N K =The Happiness I Never Knew

F E A R = Forget Everything and Run

Step One: We admitted we were powerless over alcohol – that our lives had become unmanageable.
“Under the lash of alcoholism, we are driven to A.A., and there we discover the fatal nature of our situation. Then, and only then, do we become as open-minded to conviction and as willing to listen as the dying can be. We stand ready to do anything which will lift the merciless obsessions from us.”

Total Acceptance:

“The double standard that held me captive as an active alcoholic also filled me with terror and confusion: ‘If I don’t get a drink I’m going to die,’ competed with ‘If I continue drinking it’s going to kill me.’ Both compulsive thoughts pushed me ever closer to the bottom. That bottom produced a total acceptance of my alcoholism with no reservations whatsoever and one that was absolutely essential for my recovery. It was a dilemma unlike anything I had ever faced, but as I found out later on, a necessary one if I was to succeed in this program.”

The actual or potential alcoholic, with hardly an exception, will be absolutely unable to stop drinking on the basis of self-knowledge. This is a point we wish to emphasize and re-emphasize, to smash home upon our alcoholic readers as it has been revealed to us out of bitter experience.”

Humility

Every newcomer in A.A. is told, and soon realizes for himself, that his humble admission of powerlessness over alcohol is his first step toward liberation from its paralyzing grip. So it is that we first see humility as a necessity. But this is the barest beginning . . . A whole lifetime geared to self-centeredness cannot be set in reverse all at once. Rebellion dogs our every step at first.

Solution

If you are as seriously alcoholic as we were, we believe there is no middle-of-the-road solution. We were in a position where life was becoming impossible, and if we had passed into the region from which there is no return through human aid, we had but two alternatives: One was to go on to the bitter end, blotting out the consciousness of our intolerable situation as best we could; and the other, to accept spiritual help.

THE TREASURE OF THE PAST

“Showing others who suffer how we were given help is the very thing which makes life seem so worth while to us now. Cling to the thought that, in God’s hands, the dark past is the greatest possession you have – the key to life and happiness for others. With it you can avert death and misery for them.*

What a gift it is for me to realize that all those seemingly useless years were not wasted. The most degrading and humiliating experiences turn out to be the most powerful tools in helping others to recover. In knowing the depths of shame and despair, I can reach out with a loving and compassionate hand and know that the grace of God is available to me.

“We of A.A. obey spiritual principles, at first because we must, then because we ought to, and ultimately because we love the kind of life such obedience brings. Great suffering and great love are A.A.’s disciplinarians; we need no others.”

No satisfaction has been deeper and no joy greater than in a Twelfth Step job well done. To watch the eyes of men and women open with wonder as they move from darkness into light, to see their lives quickly fill with new purpose and meaning, and above all to watch them awaken to the presence of a loving God in their lives – these things are the substance of what we receive as we carry A.A.’s message.”

Dianne