Thought to Consider…
Life didn’t end when I got sober . . . it started.“We are not living just to be sober; we are living to learn, to serve, and to love.”The smallest package in the world is an alcoholic wrapped up in just themselves.If you think you have a problem with alcohol, you probably do.
AACRONYMSD U E S = Desperately Using Everything but SobrietyP R I D E= Pretty Ridiculous Individual Directing EverythingS L I P = Sobriety Loses Its PrioritySanity
“Few indeed are the practicing alcoholics who have any idea how irrational they are, or seeing their irrationality, can bear to face it. Some will be willing to term themselves ‘problem drinkers,’ but cannot endure the suggestion that they are in fact mentally ill. They are abetted in this blindness by a world which does not understand the difference between sane drinking and alcoholism. ‘Sanity’ is defined as ‘soundness of mind.’ Yet no alcoholic, soberly analyzing his destructive behavior, whether the destruction fell on the dining room furniture or his own moral fiber, can claim ‘soundness of mind’ for himself.”One of the best things about the A.A. program is the peace of mind and serenity that it can bring us. In our drinking days, we had no peace of mind or serenity. We had the exact opposite, a kind of turmoil and that “quiet desperation” we knew so well. The turmoil of our drinking days was caused partly by our physical suffering, the terrible hangovers, the cold sweats, the shakes and the jitters. But it was caused even more by our mental suffering, the loneliness, the feeling of inferiority, the lying, the remorse that every alcoholic understands.Obsession
“Most of us have been unwilling to admit we were real alcoholics. No person likes to think he is bodily and mentally different from his fellows. Therefore, it is not surprising that our drinking careers have been characterized by countless vain attempts to prove we could drink like other people. The idea that somehow, someday he will control and enjoy his drinking is the great obsession of every abnormal drinker. The persistence of this illusion is astonishing. Many pursue it into the gates of insanity and death. We learned that we had to fully concede to our innermost selves that we were alcoholics. This is the first step to recovery.”“A MEASURE OF HUMILITY”
In every case, pain had been the price of admission into a new life. But this admission price had purchased more than we expected. It brought a measure of humility, which we soon discovered to be a healer of pain.It was painful to give up trying to control my life, even though success eluded me, and when life got too rough, I drank to escape. Accepting life on life’s terms will be mastered through the humility I experience when I turn my will and my life over to the care of God, as I understand Him. With my life in God’s care, fear, uncertainty, and anger are no longer my response to those portions of life that I would rather not have happen to me. The pain of living through these times will be healed by the knowledge that I have received the spiritual strength to survive.
A New Life
The new life of sobriety we are learning to live in A.A. is slowly growing on us, and we are beginning to get some of that deep peace of mind and serenity that we never thought were possible. At first, we may have doubted that this could happen to us, but after any considerable length of time in A.A., looking at the happy faces around us, we know that somehow it is happening to us. In fact, it cannot help happening to anyone who takes the A.A. program seriously day by day.In talking to a prospect, stress the spiritual feature freely. If the man be agnostic or atheist, make it emphatic that he does not have to agree with your conception of God. He can choose any conception he likes, provided it makes sense to him. The main thing is that he be willing to believe in a Power greater than himself and that he live by spiritual principles.”Dianne
Dianne’s Missives July 17, 2026
Thought to Consider…
We are prisoners of our own resentments. Forgiveness unlocks the door and sets us free.Humility is the result of knowing that God is the doer, not me.In order to recover we have to uncover.Faith is not belief without proof; it’s trust without reservation.AACRONYMS
A B C = Acceptance, Belief, ChangeF A I T H = Facing All In Trusting Him
T I M E = Things I Must EarnMy Solution
“Bewilderment, fear, and resentment moved into my life. And yet my ability to lie outwardly and to kid myself inwardly grew with every drink I took. Indeed, I had to drink now to live, to cope with the demands of everyday existence. When I encountered disappointments or frustrations – as I did more and more frequently – my solution was to drink. I had always been oversensitive to criticism and was acutely so now. When I was criticized or reprimanded, the bottle was my refuge and comfort.”A.A. members will tell you that they can look back and clearly see that they were out of control long before they finally admitted it. Every one of us has gone through that stage when we wouldn’t admit that we were alcoholics. It takes a lot of punishment to convince us, but one thing is certain. We all know from actual experience that when it comes to dishing out punishment, liquor has no equal.The Doctor’s Opinion”
“Men and women drink essentially because they like the effect produced by alcohol. The sensation is so elusive that, while they admit it is injurious, they cannot after a time differentiate the true from the false. To them, their alcoholic life seems the only normal one. They are restless, irritable and discontented, unless they can again experience the sense of ease and comfort which comes at once by taking a few drinks – drinks which they see others taking with impunity. After they have succumbed to the desire again, as so many do, and the phenomenon of craving develops, they pass through the well-known stages of a spree, emerging remorseful, with a firm resolution not to drink again. This is repeated over and over, andunless this person can experience an entire psychic change there is very little hope of his recovery.”Experimenters
“We agnostics liked A.A. all right, and were quick to say that it had done miracles. But we recoiled from meditation and prayer as obstinately as the scientist who refused to perform a certain experiment lest it prove his pet theory wrong. When we finally did experiment, and unexpected results followed, we felt different; in fact, we knew different; and so we were sold on meditation and prayer. And that, we have found, can happen to anybody who tries. It has been well said that ‘Almost the only scoffers at prayer are those who never tried it enough.'”“We are people who normally would not mix. But there exists among us a fellowship, a friendliness, and an understanding which is indescribably wonderful.”Coping with Anger
“Few people have been more victimized by resentments than have we alcoholics. A burst of temper could spoil a day, and a well-nursed grudge could make us miserably ineffective. Nor were we ever skillful in separating justified from unjustified anger. As we saw it, our wrath was always justified. Anger, that occasional luxury of more balanced people, could keep us on an emotional jag indefinitely. These ‘dry benders’ often led straight to the bottle.”“Nothing pays off like restraint of tongue and pen. We must avoid quick-tempered criticism, furious power-driven argument, sulking, and silent scorn. These are emotional booby traps baited with pride and vengefulness. When we are tempted by the bait, we should train ourselves to step back and think. We can neither think nor act to good purpose until the habit of self-restraint has become automatic.”
A TURNING POINT
Either the A.A. way of life becomes one of joy or I return to the darkness and despair of alcoholism. Joy comes to me when my attitude concerning God and humility turns to one of desire rather than of burden. The darkness in my life changes to radiant light when I arrive at the realization that being truthful and honest in dealing with my inventory results in my life being filled with serenity, freedom, and joy. Trust in my Higher Power deepens, and the flush of gratitude spreads through my being. I am convinced that being humble is being truthful and honest in dealing with myself and God. It is then that humility is something I “really want”, rather than being “something I must have.”After we had sobered up through the A.A. program, we gradually began to get a peace of mind and serenity which we never thought were possible. This peace of mind is based on a feeling that fundamentally all is well. That does not mean that all is well on the surface of things. Little things can keep going wrong and big things can keep on upsetting us. But deep down in our hearts we know that everything is eventually going to be all right, now that we are living sober lives.Dianne
Episode 0069 Clash of Cultures
The Old Rucker reflects on the emotional collision between what he calls the “culture of darkness” and the “culture of light,” exploring how stress, grief, road rage, media negativity, politics, and everyday frustrations can slowly pull people into chaos and despair. Drawing from personal experiences, including the pain of losing longtime pets and navigating seasons of “death by a thousand cuts,” he breaks down the role emotions, habits, and personal responsibility play in shaping character and recovery. The episode centers on practical tools for rebuilding mindset and stability through positive habits like reading, exercise, meditation, kindness, prayer, and intentional living, while encouraging listeners to reject doom-driven culture and pursue hope, self awareness, and spiritual growth one small action at a time.
Character Carved in Stone by Pat Williams.
June 20th: Arkansas Soberfest Picnic at the VFW in Cabot, Arkansas
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Episode 0059 Feed the Sheep
In this episode the Old Rucker dives into the emotional realities of recovery exploring anger, hate, violence, gratitude, and the importance of emotional sobriety. Bob talks about why people struggling with “isms” must learn to recognize and manage powerful emotions before they spiral into destructive behavior, and why the show intentionally avoids political controversy in favor of discussions that build understanding, spirituality, and personal growth. Through practical tools, reflections on service work, and a moving story about gratitude, reminder that recovery isn’t just about sobriety it’s about learning to live with humility, compassion, and love for others. The message is simple: practice love and tolerance, help someone who needs it, and remember that today is all we have so feed the sheep.
Tools to Manage Anger and Build Emotional Sobriety
Anger is a normal human emotion, but unmanaged anger can damage relationships, decision‑making, and personal well‑being. Learning practical tools to pause, calm down, and process emotions in healthier ways is an important step toward emotional sobriety. Emotional sobriety means being able to experience difficult emotions without reacting impulsively or returning to destructive habits.
Below are practical tools that can help manage anger in the moment and build healthier emotional habits over time.
Immediate Cool‑Down Techniques
These tools help interrupt anger before it escalates.
Deep Breathing
Slow, controlled belly breathing helps calm the nervous system and reduce the physical signs of anger.
Take a Time‑Out
Step away from the situation that triggered the anger. Distance often prevents emotional escalation.
Count or Distract
Counting to ten or redirecting attention can help slow down impulsive reactions.
Physical Release
Channel the energy safely through physical activity such as running, intense exercise, or hitting a pillow.
Sensory Grounding
Use calming music, visualization, or focused attention on physical surroundings to reset your emotional state.
Cognitive and Behavioral Tools
These strategies help reshape the way anger is interpreted and expressed.
Cognitive Restructuring
Replace exaggerated or hostile thoughts with more realistic and rational perspectives.
Anger Journal
Record situations that trigger anger. Tracking patterns can reveal common triggers and warning signs.
Assertive Communication
Use “I” statements to express feelings clearly without blaming others. For example: “I feel frustrated when this happens.”
Problem‑Solving Approach
Focus on practical solutions instead of remaining stuck on the frustration itself.
Long‑Term Preventative Practices
Managing anger effectively requires ongoing habits that support emotional stability.
Physical Health
Adequate sleep, balanced nutrition, and regular exercise help regulate stress and mood.
Mindfulness and Meditation
These practices increase awareness of emotional triggers before they escalate into anger.
Professional Support
Counseling, therapy (such as cognitive behavioral therapy), or support groups can help develop healthier coping strategies.
Creative Outlets
Art, music, writing, or other creative activities provide constructive ways to process emotions.
Building Emotional Sobriety
Emotional sobriety goes beyond avoiding destructive behaviors. It involves learning to experience emotions without being controlled by them.
Key elements include:
- Healthy Coping: Using positive tools instead of harmful reactions.
- Emotional Regulation: Experiencing difficult emotions without immediately escaping or numbing them.
- Balance and Perspective: Accepting life as it comes without extreme emotional swings.
- Self‑Awareness: Understanding personal triggers and emotional patterns.
Developing emotional sobriety takes time and consistent practice, but these tools provide a foundation for healthier emotional responses and stronger relationships.
Small changes practiced consistently can prevent anger from becoming destructive and instead turn it into an opportunity for growth and self‑understanding.
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Episode 0057 BobF’s Journey – ESH
This week Bob sits down with longtime friend “Mustache Bob” for a raw and revealing conversation about childhood adversity, early addiction, Peace Corps chaos in Liberia, and the hard earned lessons of relapse and redemption. After 18 years sober and a devastating slip, Bob found deeper recovery by fully working the steps, confronting long buried anger and ego, and rebuilding his life through humility and service. His story is a powerful reminder that sobriety isn’t just about not drinking, it’s about becoming willing to change, making amends, and walking a spiritual path one honest day at a time.
Adult Children of Alcoholics & Dysfunctional Families
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Dianne’s Missives January 9, 2026
Thought to Consider…
It works – it really does!
Sorrow looks back, worry looks around and faith looks within.
Anger is the hot wind that extinguishes the light of reason.
AACRONYMS
F A I T H = Finding Answers In The Heart
C A L M = Can Anger Leave Me?
Step One: We admitted we were powerless over alcohol- that our lives had become unmanageable.
Seed
“It was then discovered that when one alcoholic had planted in the mind of another the true nature of his malady, that person could never be the same again. Following every spree, he would say to himself, ‘Maybe those A.A.’s were right . . .’ After a few such experiences, often years before the onset of extreme difficulties, he would return to us convinced. He had hit bottom as truly as any of us. Alcohol itself had become our best advocate.
We thought “conditions” drove us to drink, and when we tried to correct these conditions and found that we couldn’t do so to our entire satisfaction, our drinking went out of hand and we became alcoholics. It never occurred to us that we needed to change ourselves to meet conditions, whatever they were.
Resentments
Few people have been more victimized by resentments than have we alcoholics. It mattered little whether our resentments were justified or not. A burst of temper could spoil a day, and a well – nursed grudge could make us miserably ineffective. Nor were we ever skillful in separating justified from unjustified anger. As we saw it, our wrath was always justified. Anger, that occasional luxury of more balanced people, could keep us on an emotional jag indefinitely. These emotional “dry benders” often led straight to the bottle. Other kinds of disturbance – jealousy, envy, self-pity, or hurt pride – did the same thing.
“The explanation that alcoholism was a disease of a two-fold nature, an allergy of the body and an obsession of the mind, cleared up a number of puzzling questions for me. The allergy we could do nothing about. Somehow our bodies had reached the point where we could no longer absorb alcohol in our systems. The why is not important; the fact is that one drink will set up a reaction in our system that requires more, that one drink is too much and a hundred drinks are not enough.”
TOTAL ACCEPTANCE
He cannot picture life without alcohol. Some day he will be unable to imagine life either with alcohol or without it. Then he will know loneliness such as few do. He will be at the jumping-off place. He will wish for the end.
Only an alcoholic can understand the exact meaning of a statement like this one. The double standard that held me captive as an active alcoholic also filled me with terror and confusion: “If I don’t get a drink I’m going to die,” competed with “If I continue drinking it’s going to kill me.” Both compulsive thoughts pushed me ever closer to the bottom. That bottom produced a total acceptance of my alcoholism – with no reservations whatsoever – and one that was absolutely essential for my recovery. It was a dilemma unlike anything I had ever faced, but as I found out later on, a necessary one if I was to succeed in this program.
Guidance
Walk day by day in the path of spiritual progress. If you persist, remarkable things will happen. When we look back, we realize the things which came to us when we put ourselves in God’s hands, were better than anything we could have planned. Follow the dictates of a Higher Power and you will presently live in a new and wonderful world, no matter what your present circumstances!
Faith
When I was driven to my knees by alcohol, I was made ready to ask for the gift of faith. And all was changed. Never again, my pains and problems notwithstanding, would I experience my former desolation. I saw the universe to be lighted by God’s love; I was alone no more.
Dianne
Dianne’s Missives July 4
Thought to Consider…Acceptance is not submission; it is acknowledgment of the facts of a situation, then deciding what you’re going to do about it.Faith is not belief without proof; it’s trust without reservation.
It’s not making a mistake that will kill me. It’s defending it that does the damage.There is no such thing as being ‘a little bit alcoholic.’
AACRONYMSD E N I A L = Don’t Even Notice I Am LyingF E A R = False Evidence Appearing RealAlcohol is our weakness. We suffer from mental conflicts from which we look for escape by drowning our problems in drink. We try through drink to push away from the realities of life. But alcohol does not feed, alcohol does not build, it only borrows from the future and it ultimately destroys. We try to drown our feelings in order to escape life’s realities, little realizing or caring that in continued drinking we are only multiplying our problems.Surrender
“We surrender to win. On the face of it, surrendering certainly does not seem like winning. But it is in A.A. Only after we have come to the end of our rope, hit a stone wall in some aspect of our lives beyond which we can go no further; only when we hit ‘bottom’ in despair and surrender, can we accomplish sobriety which we could never accomplish before. We must, and we do, surrender in order to win.”Coping with AngerFew people have been more victimized by resentments than we alcoholics have. A burst of temper could spoil a whole day. A well-nourished grudge could make us miserably ineffective. Nor were we ever skillful in separating justified from unjustified anger. As we saw it, our wrath was always justified. Anger, that occasional luxury of more balanced people, could keep us on an emotional jag indefinitely. These ‘dry benders’ often led straight to the bottle.”
“Nothing pays off like restraint of tongue and pen. We must avoid quick-tempered criticism, furious power-driven argument, sulking, and silent scorn. These are emotional booby traps baited with pride and vengefulness. When we are tempted by the bait, we should train ourselves to step back and think. We can neither think nor act to good purpose until the habit of self-restraint has become automatic.”
Prayer
“All of us, without exception, pass through times when we can pray only with the greatest exertion of will. Occasionally we go even further than this. We are seized with a rebellion so sickening that we simply won’t pray. When these things happen, we should not think too ill of ourselves. We should simply resume prayer as soon as we can, doing what we know to be good for us.”We find that no one need have difficulty with the spirituality of the program. Willingness, honesty and open-mindedness are the essentials of recovery. But these are indispensable.Am I honest enough to accept myself as I am and let this be the “me” that I let others see? Do I have the willingness to go to any length, to do whatever is necessary to stay sober? Do I have the open-mindedness to hear what I have to hear, to think what I have to think, and to feel what I have to feel?
If my answer to these questions is “Yes,” I know enough about the spirituality of the program to stay sober. As I continue to work the Twelve Steps, I move on to the heart of true sobriety: serenity with myself, with others, and with God as I understand Him.Dianne