Tag: illusion

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Dianne’s Missives March 27, 2026

Thought to Consider…

Trying to pray is praying.
It has been well said that “almost the only scoffers at prayer are those who never tried it enough.”
Recognizing someone else’s human dignity cannot cost you your own.
Together we can do what we could never do alone.

AACRONYMS

B S = Before Sobriety

D E N I A L = Don’t Even Notice I Am Lying

Illusion

“Most of us have been unwilling to admit we were real alcoholics. No person likes to think he is bodily and mentally different from his fellows. Therefore, it is not surprising that our drinking careers have been characterized by countless vain attempts to prove we could drink like other people. The idea that somehow, someday he will control and enjoy his drinking is the great obsession of every abnormal drinker. The persistence of this illusion is astonishing. Many pursue it into the gates of insanity or death.”

Rationalization

“There are cases where our ancient enemy, rationalization, has stepped in and has justified conduct which was really wrong. The temptation here is to imagine that we had good motives and reasons when we really didn’t. We ‘constructively criticized’ someone who needed it, when our real motive was to win a useless argument. We sometimes hurt those we love because they ‘need to be taught a lesson’, when we really want to punish. This perverse wish to hide a bad motive underneath a good one, permeates human affairs from top to bottom.”

Isolating

“The less people tolerated us, the more we withdrew from society, from life itself. As we became subjects of King Alcohol, shivering denizens of his mad realm, the chilling vapor that is loneliness settled down. It thickened, ever becoming blacker.

And No More Reservations

We have seen the truth again and again: “Once an alcoholic, always an alcoholic.” . . . If we are planning to stop drinking there must be no reservation of any kind, nor any lurking notion that someday we will be immune to alcohol. To be gravely affected, one does not necessarily have to drink a long time nor take the quantities some of us have. This is particularly true of women. Potential female alcoholics often turn into the real thing and are gone beyond recall in a few years.

Honesty

“Rarely have we seen a person fail who has thoroughly followed our path. Those who do not recover are people who cannot or will not completely give themselves to this simple program, usually men and women who are constitutionally incapable of being honest with themselves. There are such unfortunates. They are not at fault; they seem to have been born that way. They are naturally incapable of grasping and developing a manner of living which demands rigorous honesty. Their chances are less than average. There are those, too, who suffer from grave emotional and mental disorders, but many of them do recover if they have the capacity to be honest.”

AS WE UNDERSTAND HIM

My friend suggested what then seemed a novel idea . . . “Why don’t you choose your own conception of God?” That statement hit me hard. It melted the icy intellectual mountain in whose shadow I had lived and shivered many years. I stood in the sunlight at last. It was only a matter of being willing to believe in a Power greater than myself. Nothing more was required of me to make my beginning.

Prayer

“As the doubter tries the process of prayer, he should begin to add up the results. If he persists, he will surely find more serenity, more tolerance, less fear, and less anger. He will acquire a quiet courage, the kind that isn’t tension-ridden. He can look at ‘failure’ and ‘success’ for what these really are. Problems and calamity will begin to mean his instruction, instead of his destruction. Wonderful and unaccountable things will start to happen.”
“On awakening let us think about the twenty-four hours ahead. We consider our plans for the day. Before we begin, we ask God to direct our thinking, especially asking that it be divorced from self-pity, dishonest or self-seeking motives. Under these conditions we can employ our mental faculties with assurance, for after all God gave us brains to use. Our thought-life will be placed on a much higher plane when our thinking is cleared of wrong motives.”
Dianne
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Dianne’s Missives January 30, 2026

Thought to Consider…

Listening feeds the spirit.
The two most dangerous words in a recovering alcoholic’s vocabulary are, “I’m different.”
Adversity introduces us to ourselves
Newcomers are the lifeblood of the program. But our old-timers are the arteries.

AACRONYMS

D E A D = Drinking Ends All Dreams
Y A N A = You Are Not Alone

Illusion

No person likes to think he is bodily and mentally different from his fellows. Therefore, it is not surprising that our drinking careers have been characterized by countless vain attempts to prove we could drink like other people. The idea that somehow, someday he will control And enjoy his drinking is the great obsession of every abnormal drinker. The persistence of this illusion is astonishing. Many pursue it into the gates of insanity or death.

The fact is that most alcoholics, for reasons yet obscure, have lost the power of choice in drink. Our so-called will power becomes practically nonexistent. We are unable, at certain times, to bring into our consciousness with sufficient force the memory of the suffering and humiliation of even a week or a month ago. We are without defense against the first drink.

“For the type of alcoholic who is able and willing to get well, little charity, in the ordinary sense of the word, is needed or wanted. The men who cry for money and shelter before conquering alcohol, are on the wrong track.”

“In the beginning, it was four whole years before A.A. brought permanent sobriety to even one alcoholic woman. Like the ‘high bottoms,’ the women said they were different; A.A. couldn’t be for them. But as the communication was perfected, mostly by the women themselves, the picture changed. This process of identification and transmission has gone on and on. The Skid-Rower said he was different. Even more loudly, the socialite said the same – so did the artists and the professional people, the rich, the poor, the religious, the agnostic, the Indians and the Eskimos, the veterans, and the prisoners. But nowadays all of these, and legions more, soberly talk about how very much alike all of us alcoholics are when we admit that the chips are finally down.”

Step Two: Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.
“Why all this insistence that every A.A. must hit bottom first? The answer is that few people will sincerely try to practice the A.A. program unless they have hit bottom. For practicing A.A.’s remaining eleven Steps means the adoption of attitudes and actions that almost no alcoholic who is still drinking can dream of taking. Who wishes to be rigorously honest and tolerant? Who wants to confess his faults to another and make restitution for harm done? Who cares anything about a Higher Power, let alone meditation and prayer?”

Belief

Here are thousands of men and women, worldly indeed. They flatly declare that since they have come to believe in a Power greater than themselves, to take a certain attitude toward that Power, and to do certain simple things, there has been a revolutionary change in their way of living and thinking. In the face of collapse and despair, in the face of the total failure of their human resources, they found that a new power, peace, happiness, and sense of direction flowed into them.

On the foundation of sobriety, we can build a life of honesty, unselfishness, faith in God, and love of our fellow human beings. We’ll never fully reach these goals, but the adventure of building that kind of a life is so much better than the merry-go-round of our old drinking life that there’s no comparison. We come into A.A. to get sober, but if we stay long enough, we learn a new way of living. We become honest with ourselves and with other people. We learn to think more about others and less about ourselves. And we learn to rely on the constant help of a Higher Power.

Prayer

“In A.A. we have found that the actual good results of prayer are beyond question. They are matters of knowledge and experience. All those who have persisted have found strength not ordinarily their own. They have found wisdom beyond their usual capability. And they have increasingly found a peace of mind which can stand firm in the face of difficult circumstances.”

Dianne

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Dianne’s Missives Mar 28

Thought to Consider…

Recognizing someone else’s human dignity cannot cost you your own.

Clearing a Channel

“During the day, we can pause where situations must be met and decisions made, and renew the simple request ‘Thy will, not mine, be done.’ If at these points our emotional disturbances happens to be great, we will more surely keep our balance provided we remember, and repeat to ourselves, a particular prayer or phrase that has appealed to us in our reading or meditations. Just saying it over and over will often enable us to clear a channel choked up with anger, fear, frustration, or misunderstanding, and permit us to return to the surest help of all – our search for God’s will, not our own, in the moment of stress.”

Illusion

“Most of us have been unwilling to admit we were real alcoholics. No person likes to think he is bodily and mentally different from his fellows. Therefore, it is not surprising that our drinking careers have been characterized by countless vain attempts to prove we could drink like other people. The idea that somehow, someday he will control and enjoy his drinking is the great obsession of every abnormal drinker. The persistence of this illusion is astonishing. Many pursue it into the gates of insanity or death.”

Tolerance

“Honesty with ourselves and others gets us sober, but it is tolerance that keeps us that way. In other words, once an alcoholic fully realizes that he can’t get well alone, he will somehow find a way to get well and stay well in the company of others. It has been that way from the beginning of A.A. and probably always will be so.”

Selfish”?”

“I can see why you are disturbed to hear some A.A. speakers say, ‘A.A. is a selfish program.’ The word ‘selfish’ ordinarily implies that one is acquisitive, demanding, and thoughtless of the welfare of others. Of course, the A.A. way of life does not at all imply such undesirable traits. ‘What do these speakers mean?’ Well, any theologian will tell you that the salvation of his own soul is the highest vocation that a man can have. Without salvation – however we may define this – he will have little or nothing. For us of A.A., there is even more urgency. If we cannot or will not achieve sobriety, then we become truly lost, right in the here and now. We are of no value to anyone, including ourselves, until we find salvation from alcohol. Therefore, our own recovery and spiritual growth have to come first – aright and necessary kind of self-concern.”

Strength comes from the fellowship you find when you come into A.A. Just being with men and women who have found the way out gives you a feeling of security. You listen to the speakers, you talk with other members, and you absorb the atmosphere of confidence and hope that you find in the place.

WE Cannot Live Alone

“All of A.A.’s Twelve Steps ask us to go contrary to our natural desires; they all deflate our egos. When it comes to ego deflation, few Steps are harder to take than the Fifth. Scarcely any Step is more necessary to long-time sobriety and peace of mind. A.A. experience has taught us we cannot live alone with our pressing problems and the character defects which cause or aggravate them. If Step Four has revealed in stark relief those experiences we’d rather not remember, then the need to quit living by ourselves with those tormenting ghosts of yesterday gets more urgent than ever. We have to talk to somebody about them.”

Dianne

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