Tag: denial

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Dianne’s Missives April 24, 2026

Thought to Consider…

We are as sick as our secrets.
. harboring resentment is infinitely grave. For then we shut ourselves off from the sunlight of the spirit.
A victim is a spectator in his life.

AACRONYMS
F E A R = Face Everything And Recover!
D E N I A L = Don’t Even Notice I Am Lying
B S = Before Sobriety

GIVING UP INSANITY

. . . where alcohol has been involved, we have been strangely insane.

THE “NUMBER ONE OFFENDER”

Resentment is the “number one” offender. It destroys more alcoholics than anything else. From it stem all forms of spiritual disease, for we have been not only mentally and physically ill, we have been spiritually sick.

Alcoholism required me to drink, whether I wanted to or not. Insanity dominated my life and was the essence of my disease. It robbed me of the freedom of choice over drinking and, therefore, robbed me of all other choices. When I drank, I was unable to make effective choices in any part of my life, and life became unmanageable.
I ask God to help me understand and accept the full meaning of the disease of alcoholism.

Amends

“Learning how to live in the greatest peace, partnership, and brotherhood with all men and women, of whatever description, is a moving and fascinating adventure. Every A.A. has found that he can make little headway in this new adventure of living until he first backtracks and really makes an accurate and unsparing survey of the human wreckage he has left in his wake.”

Intoxication

“As newcomers, many of us have indulged in spiritual intoxication. Like a prospector, belt drawn in over the last ounce of food, we saw our pick strike gold. Joy at our release from a lifetime of frustration knew no bounds. The newcomer feel she has struck something better than gold. He may not see at once that he has barely scratched a limitless lode which will pay dividends only if he mines it for the rest of his life and insists on giving away the entire product.

Sharing

“In spite of the great increase in the size and the span of this Fellowship, at its core it remains simple and personal. Each day, somewhere in the world, recovery begins when one alcoholic talks with another alcoholic, sharing experience, strength, and hope.”

Healing Talk

“When we consult an A.A. friend, we should not be reluctant to remind him of our need for full privacy. Intimate communication is normally so free and easy among us that an A.A. adviser may sometimes forget when we expect him to remain silent. The protective sanctity of this most healing of human relations ought never be violated. Such privileged communications have priceless advantages. We find in them the perfect opportunity to be as honest as we know how to be. We do not have to think of the possibility of damage to other people, nor need we fear ridicule or condemnation. Here too, we have the best possible chance of spotting self-deception.”

Progress

“We claim spiritual progress rather than spiritual perfection. Our description of the alcoholic, the chapter to the agnostic, and our personal adventures before and after make clear three pertinent ideas:
(a) That we were alcoholic and could not manage our own lives.
(b) That probably no human power could have relieved our alcoholism.
(c) That God could and would if He were sought.”

Our New Employer

“We had a new Employer. Being all powerful, He provided what we needed, if we kept close to Him and performed His work well. Established on such a footing, we became less and less interested in ourselves, our little plans and designs. More and more we became interested in seeing what we could contribute to life. As we felt new power flow in, as we enjoyed peace of mind, as we discovered we could face life successfully, as we became conscious of His presence, we began to lose our fear of today, tomorrow, or the hereafter. We were reborn.”

Dianne

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Dianne’s Missives March 27, 2026

Thought to Consider…

Trying to pray is praying.
It has been well said that “almost the only scoffers at prayer are those who never tried it enough.”
Recognizing someone else’s human dignity cannot cost you your own.
Together we can do what we could never do alone.

AACRONYMS

B S = Before Sobriety

D E N I A L = Don’t Even Notice I Am Lying

Illusion

“Most of us have been unwilling to admit we were real alcoholics. No person likes to think he is bodily and mentally different from his fellows. Therefore, it is not surprising that our drinking careers have been characterized by countless vain attempts to prove we could drink like other people. The idea that somehow, someday he will control and enjoy his drinking is the great obsession of every abnormal drinker. The persistence of this illusion is astonishing. Many pursue it into the gates of insanity or death.”

Rationalization

“There are cases where our ancient enemy, rationalization, has stepped in and has justified conduct which was really wrong. The temptation here is to imagine that we had good motives and reasons when we really didn’t. We ‘constructively criticized’ someone who needed it, when our real motive was to win a useless argument. We sometimes hurt those we love because they ‘need to be taught a lesson’, when we really want to punish. This perverse wish to hide a bad motive underneath a good one, permeates human affairs from top to bottom.”

Isolating

“The less people tolerated us, the more we withdrew from society, from life itself. As we became subjects of King Alcohol, shivering denizens of his mad realm, the chilling vapor that is loneliness settled down. It thickened, ever becoming blacker.

And No More Reservations

We have seen the truth again and again: “Once an alcoholic, always an alcoholic.” . . . If we are planning to stop drinking there must be no reservation of any kind, nor any lurking notion that someday we will be immune to alcohol. To be gravely affected, one does not necessarily have to drink a long time nor take the quantities some of us have. This is particularly true of women. Potential female alcoholics often turn into the real thing and are gone beyond recall in a few years.

Honesty

“Rarely have we seen a person fail who has thoroughly followed our path. Those who do not recover are people who cannot or will not completely give themselves to this simple program, usually men and women who are constitutionally incapable of being honest with themselves. There are such unfortunates. They are not at fault; they seem to have been born that way. They are naturally incapable of grasping and developing a manner of living which demands rigorous honesty. Their chances are less than average. There are those, too, who suffer from grave emotional and mental disorders, but many of them do recover if they have the capacity to be honest.”

AS WE UNDERSTAND HIM

My friend suggested what then seemed a novel idea . . . “Why don’t you choose your own conception of God?” That statement hit me hard. It melted the icy intellectual mountain in whose shadow I had lived and shivered many years. I stood in the sunlight at last. It was only a matter of being willing to believe in a Power greater than myself. Nothing more was required of me to make my beginning.

Prayer

“As the doubter tries the process of prayer, he should begin to add up the results. If he persists, he will surely find more serenity, more tolerance, less fear, and less anger. He will acquire a quiet courage, the kind that isn’t tension-ridden. He can look at ‘failure’ and ‘success’ for what these really are. Problems and calamity will begin to mean his instruction, instead of his destruction. Wonderful and unaccountable things will start to happen.”
“On awakening let us think about the twenty-four hours ahead. We consider our plans for the day. Before we begin, we ask God to direct our thinking, especially asking that it be divorced from self-pity, dishonest or self-seeking motives. Under these conditions we can employ our mental faculties with assurance, for after all God gave us brains to use. Our thought-life will be placed on a much higher plane when our thinking is cleared of wrong motives.”
Dianne
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Dianne’s Missives January 23, 2026

Thought to Consider…

I keep my sobriety by giving it away.
Courage is the willingness to accept fear and act anyway.
The ankle-biters of everyday struggles will eat away at me unless I go to meetings and call my sponsor.
There’s no elevator, you have to take the Steps.

AACRONYMS

F E A R =Face Everything And Recover
D E N I A L = Don’t Even Notice I Am Lying

Paradox

Step One: We admitted we were powerless over alcohol, that our lives had become unmanageable. “We had approached A.A. expecting to be taught self-confidence. Then we had been told that so far as alcohol is concerned, self-confidence was no good whatever; in fact, it was a total liability. Our sponsors declared that we were the victims of a mental obsession so subtly powerful that no amount of human willpower could break it. There was, they said, no such thing as the personal conquest of this compulsion by the unaided will. The tyrant alcohol wielded a double-edged sword over us: first we were smitten by an insane urge that condemned us to go on drinking, and then by an allergy of the body that insured we would ultimately destroy ourselves in the process. Few indeed were those who, so assailed, had ever won through in single-handed combat.”

When I was still drinking, I couldn’t respond to any of life’s situations the way other, more healthy, people could. The smallest incident triggered a state of mind that believed I had to have a drink to numb my feelings. But the numbing did not improve the situation, so I sought further escape in the bottle. Today I must be aware of my alcoholism. I cannot afford to believe that I have gained control of my drinking – or again I will think I have gained control of my life. Such a feeling of control is fatal to my recovery.

Out of the Dark

“Self-searching is the means by which we bring new vision, action, and grace to bear upon the dark and negative side of our natures. With it comes the development of that kind of humility that makes it possible for us to receive God’s help. Yet it is only a step. We will want to go further. We will want the good that is in us all, even in the worst of us, to flower and to grow. But first of all we shall want sunlight; nothing much can grow in the dark. Meditation is our step out into the sun.”

When we were drinking, most of us had no real faith in anything. We may have said that we believed in God, but we didn’t act as though we did. We never honestly asked God to help us and we never really accepted His help. To us, faith looked like helplessness. But when we came into A.A., we began to have faith in God. And we found out that faith gave us the strength we needed to overcome drinking.

The longer we are in A.A., the more natural this way of life seems. Our old drinking lives were a very unnatural way of living. Our present sober lives are the most natural way we could possibly live. During the early years of our drinking, our lives weren’t so different from the lives of a lot of other people. But as we gradually became problem drinkers, our lives became more and more unnatural.

We are not cured of alcoholism. What we really have is a daily reprieve contingent on the maintenance of our spiritual condition.

ACCEPTING OUR PRESENT CIRCUMSTANCES

Our very first problem is to accept our present circumstances as they are, ourselves as we are, and the people about us as they are. This is to adopt a realistic humility without which no genuine advance can even begin. Again and again, we shall need to return to that unflattering point of departure. This is an exercise in acceptance that we can profitably practice every day of our lives. Provided we strenuously avoid turning these realistic surveys of the facts of life into unrealistic alibis for apathy or defeatism, they can be the sure foundation upon which increased emotional health and therefore spiritual progress can be built.

Satisfaction

No satisfaction has been deeper and no joy greater than in a Twelfth Step job well done. To watch the eyes of men and women with wonder as they move from darkness into light, to see their lives quickly fill with new purpose and meaning, to see whole families reassembled, to see the alcoholic outcast received back into his community in full citizenship, and above all to watch these people awaken to the presence of a loving God in their lives – these things are the substance of what we receive as we carry A.A.’s message to the next alcoholic.

What is this power that A.A. possesses? This curative power? I don’t know what it is. I suppose the doctor might say, “This is psychosomatic medicine.” I suppose the psychiatrist might say, “This is benevolent interpersonal relations.” I suppose others would say, “This is group psychotherapy.” To me it is God.

Dianne

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